no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
