She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
