? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
