Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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