Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize