i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
