gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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