that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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