I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
