How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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