She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
