At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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