he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
