I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
