I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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