yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
