how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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