He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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