thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
