We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize