you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
