life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
