My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We are all done wearing pants today
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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