It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize