i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
