I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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