We won't sleep together?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
