Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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