Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
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I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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