Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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