Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize