Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
