I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
