i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
