someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I looked at my own cervix.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
