Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
