FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
