I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
