drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize