wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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