if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
