found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Boobs are out for the taking
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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