I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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