**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'd cum for enchiladas.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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