I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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