So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Pants are for mortals
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