Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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