Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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