I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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