ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Maybe he injected his testicle?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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