sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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