i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
