so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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