her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You know, be my cock's hype man.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize