Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
