For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
