so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
